I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
