Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
