My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
