I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
