I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
