@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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