No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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