put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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