I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
