idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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