This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
