Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
