Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
