Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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