I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
