did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
