my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
