you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
