you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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