Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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