Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
