Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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