Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize