My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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