Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
