problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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