i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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