Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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