I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
