just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
