Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
