The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
