I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize