I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
