i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
