the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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