I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
