You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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