I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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