Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
whose ass print is on the piano?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
