If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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