I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize