Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I still have a little drunk in my system
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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