i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
