Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
