so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
