then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My balls are so social today.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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