Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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