Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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