brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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