i may or may not be watching the land before time
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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