1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize