Small penises have feelings too.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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