There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
