i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
be right there i have to get my cape
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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