There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
