How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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