How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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