Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize