just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Congratulations! We have a period
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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