We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
