Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
