it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
